Denver Airport: Conspiracy Theory Central

I know I’m going to look like a complete fool in 2012 when our reptilian overlords emerge from the vast bunker beneath Denver International Airport with their army of slave warriors and take over the world. But for now I’m just going to take the risk of assuming that’s the craziest conspiracy theory I’ve heard yet.

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TSA’s Liquids Rules Not Going Away Soon

Stock up on those one-quart zipper-lock plastic bags. It could be a while before the TSA gets rid of its liquids rules.

The prospect of packing the bag of liquids and gels and pulling it out for it out for security inspections made me wonder whether I could travel without any liquids at all on my most recent trip.

Well, maybe I could. But I won’t.

 I don’t wear make-up, so no problem there. I could replace my toothpaste with tooth powder and do without my sunscreen and moisturizer. But I just wasn’t willing to travel without my disposable contact lenses, which are packaged  in little bubbles of saline.

Frommers Remind Us To Beware Of Airport Theft

Arthur Frommer relates on his blog today the theft of a laptop from his daughter, Pauline, in an airport security line. The laptop was eventually recovered, with the help of security video, but Arthur reminds us to watch over our valuables when passing through security.

Laptops are a problem, of course, because the TSA requires us to take them out of their cases and leave them exposed. I do my best to keep an eye on my netbook, but I get mighty nervous when it’s on the belt and getting passed through to the other side while I’m stuck behind someone who can’t seem to get through the metal detector.

Arthur points out another hazard — when you get through the metal detector and are asked to step aside for a pat-down. He suggests asking firmly but politely that you be allowed to gather your valuables first, and keep them with you. Excellent idea.

Judge Backs American Airlines In Discrimination Case

A federal judge has ruled that an American Airlines crew acted appropriately when they returned a jet to the gate in San Diego two years ago because of concerns about the demeanor of some members of a group of six Iraqi-American passengers, Reuters reports.

The Latest In Unruly Passenger News

There have been lots of unruly passengers in the news lately, including two incidents that prompted emergency landings of transatlantic flights Saturday.

An American Airlines 757 flying from Paris to Boston was diverted to Gander, Newfoundland, on Saturday after a French passenger attached a device consisting of some kind of putty and what looked like a GPS unit to the fuselage of the aircraft, Canadian Press reports. The passenger was arrested in Gander and the flight continued to Boston, where it arrived more than an hour and a half late.

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Nicknames Causing Trouble For Travelers

I must thank the TSA for finally making me feel grateful for my name. I never liked it as a child, though I suppose children rarely like their names. But I now find that it’s very convenient for travel purposes.

There really is no nickname for Jeanne, so when I buy an airline ticket it’s always for Jeanne.  It matches my credit card, my passport and my driver’s license. No confusion there. But my daughter, who is called Kate but is officially named Katherine, has to be sure now that her ticket matches her ID because the TSA wants to keep names straight and avoid false matches with government watch lists.

So, all you Bills or Williams, Chrises or Christinas, Joes or Josephs — be careful. As Chris[topher] Elliott reported in a recent column, airlines may not be all that helpful about changing your ticket, which means that your nickname can cost you.

Suspect Arrested At LaGuardia With Fake Bomb

The Central Terminal at LaGuardia was evacuated today and a man with a fake bomb was arrested, several sources reported. The airport was closed for several hours, with no flights going out and all incoming flights diverted. Flights resumed around 8 a.m.  and the Central Terminal was reopened shortly before 9 a.m., but its Concourse C remained closed as a crime scene. The New York Daily News said several passengers alerted authorities about a man who looked drunk; when approached, he claimed to have a bomb.

Blogger Reports TSA Agent Pulled Down Her Top

My niece Seton sent me a link to this rather horrifying blog entry by a young woman who says her tube top was pulled down by a female TSA agent in the Bozeman, Mont., airport, exposing her breasts to passengers and several male agents nearby. It seems pretty clear that it was an accident, but a careless and truly inexcusable one.

Some comments on her blog entry suggested that she should not have been wearing a tube top to fly. Nonsense. She can wear what she wants, even a strapless top. Besides, she had a hooded sweatshirt over it.

For years, my husband and I had a protocol when traveling with our daughter — one of us would pass through security ahead of her and the other behind her so that one of us would always be on the same side with her. There were just too many stories about young women being singled out for attention, especially before the TSA replaced private guards.

The kid is 24 now, travels alone all the time and knows how to take care of herself. But if someone did that to her, whether it was an accident or not, they would still face the unholy wrath of this Mom.

TSA Accused Of ‘Mission Creep’

The Transportation Security Administration , which has been known to release a video of a confrontation with a passenger to refute claims of harassment, isn’t sounding too good in a recording made by a man being questioned at the St. Louis airport. I guess turnabout is fair play.

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Make Sure The Names On Your Ticket And ID Match

My driver’s license says Jeanne Leblanc. My passport says Jeanne Adele Leblanc. (For so my parents named me, perhaps believing that one day I would speak enough French to justify such a moniker. Mais non. Hablo español.)

It’s important to remember how my name is rendered because the TSA wants the name on my identification to match the name on my airline ticket. So if I’m flying domestically, I should buy a ticket for Jeanne Leblanc. But for overseas travel, it should be for Jeanne Adele Leblanc or at least Jeanne A. Leblanc. But it’s probably OK if it’s not exactly right.

Says the TSA:

But rest assured, the system will be pretty flexible. For the near future, small differences between ID and reservation information, such as the use of a middle initial instead of a full middle name or no middle name/initial at all, should not cause a problem for the passenger.

The TSA will also start asking passengers to declare their sex and date of birth, which fortunately for me, are fairly consistent across all my forms of identification.  The goal, by the way, is to reduce false name matches with the terrorist watch list.