Deck Chair Hogging Causes International Incident

Anyone who’s been on a mass-market cruise knows about passengers who throw their towels on the reclining deck chairs near the pool and then take off. Now the captain of a British cruise ship is in trouble for his comments on the topic.

"We don’t want that kind of Germanic behaviour here!" Capt. Christopher Wells chided passengers over the loudspeakers of the P&O cruise ship Oceana, according to a story in the Daily Telegraph.

Germanic, eh? That’s not what I call it.

As the story very accurately pointed out, there are always enough chairs for the passengers who want them — as long as nobody tries to "reserve" chairs with towels or personal belongings. Whether or not you regard this form of imperialism to be inherent to any particular nationality, it’s just plain wrong.

In fact, I consider the failure of cruise passengers to act sensibly and responsibly in this circumstance to represent, microcosmically, the  failure of the general public to support the common good. And this is the basis of my overall disappointment with the species.

Yes. I can make the pool deck of a cruise ship an allegory for man’s inhumanity to man. If I do it loudly enough, my husband will usually buy me another drink.

Anyway, Capt. Wells apologized but this incident is now under investigation by Britain’s Equality and Human Rights Commission. And Capt. Wells will also have to answer to his wife, Hedda, who is German.


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