Where To Be Dinner

I like to think I’m an adventurous traveler but I try to avoid anything that might eat me. All sorts of predatory creatures fall into this category, but what I’m talking about here is mainly sharks. And grizzly bears.

That’s why I was so interested in the article on ForbesTraveler.com entitled 10 Shark-Infested Beaches. It’s a nice rundown of places where I won’t be getting in the water.

See, I grew up here in New England, where shark attacks are quite rare. And don’t you believe otherwise just because "Jaws" was filmed on Martha’s Vineyard. That shark was a total fake. I saw the props at Universal Studios.

There may be some scientific theory to explain it, but I believe New England sharks simply don’t get a lot of opportunity to eat people because it’s too damned cold for humans to swim in the Atlantic off New England shores. The people-eating trend passed the sharks by, sort of the way sushi has never really made it in central Connecticut.

Still, "Jaws" scared a lot of people. One of my sisters refused to swim in the ocean for years after she saw it. My parents, knowing what a complete weenie I could be, wisely forebade me to see the movie, and so I continued swimming in the Atlantic until my lips turned blue.

That never took long, so by the time a shark figured out I might be worth eating, I was back on the beach.

Sure, I’ll swim in warmer waters. But I’m not taking my chances at any of those "shark-infested" beaches. If those sharks want some New England sushi, they can swim up here and get it. 


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