Have you ever been on a tour where the guide says something like, "And off to the left there, you can see the rock formation called The Witch because of its obvious resemblance to a witch riding a broom. See down there? That’s her cat."
What I want to know is, when all the rest of you say, "Oooh, aah. There it is. Amazing!" are you all goofing on me? Because I can never make the damned thing out, no matter what it’s supposed to be.
I’m not talking about Mount Rushmore here. I think I’d get that. I mean those natural outcroppings and weathered basalt columns that have a fanciful, descriptive name bestowed by some inebriated or mischievous local: "Hey Bert, let’s call that boulder The Sleeping Beagle. Ha!"
I find that all these things look pretty much like rocks. Admittedly, I have the same problem with constellations. I think they look like stars. And the occasional potato that looks like Richard Nixon, well that’s different. I think all potatoes look like Richard Nixon.
Given this disability of mine, I was surprised and delighted when I saw a picture of the latest thing in stone faces in New Hampshire and it looked remarkably like a face. Even to me.
This formation, Indian Head, is being touted as a replacement for the Old Man of the Mountain, which had the bad manners to collapse just a few years after it was featured on New Hampshire’s state quarter. (We avoided this kind of embarrassment in Connecticut by featuring a tree that had already fallen over – about 150 years ago.)
Anyway, I’m so excited by this breakthrough of mine that I’m going to study up on these formations – they’re called mimetoliths – so that I can visit some more. And if I can’t make out what they’re supposed to be, I’m going to come back home and rename one of the rocks on my property line Leaping Moose Rock.
What? Can’t you see it?