Another strange question I heard on vacation, this one from the most stoned waiter ever: "Did you pay me yet?"
The kid and I were at a cafe on the boardwalk at Venice Beach, a wild and wacky place in Los Angeles with lots of tie-dyed stuff, rollerblading, head shops and the occasional blissed-out mass drumming session.
We had eaten, received the check and given the waiter money. Which is when he asked, looking sort of lost, "Did you pay me yet?"
"Yes," I said.
"How much did you give me?" he asked.
"A twenty," I said.
"How much was the bill?" he asked.
"Seventeen something," I said.
He brought back $3, eventually, and I left them as a tip. I was not annoyed so much as worried about him. I guess my other tip would be: Dude, if you have to smoke that much weed before work, bring a pencil so you can write stuff down.